Naughty Squids

Life is so full of ironies, and Squidoo is no different. When I created my first group, I was eager to get started and build a community. I decided not to put any criteria up, so that no one would be discouraged. If I honestly didn't like something, I would send a polite message to the lensmaster saying why their join request was declined. I really didn't see any terrible lenses, and that was fine by me. So, when I created a second group, The Armchair Critics, I decided I would post up some criteria. Of course, not even twelve hours later, I had two emails saying that there had been a lens request for each of the groups. One of them had nothing to do with the group topic, and the other one was just bad. It's funny. I'm almost certain that the only people who would stop to read the guidelines are the ones who already know what a good lens looks like!

Whenever I receive a request for a lens that hasn't quite gelled into greatness, I always direct them to the HQ page. I keep a running list of some of the great Squidoo tips lenses out there. I know that when I first became a Squid, I had no idea that there were so many tutorials around. I wonder if the people I message ever get around to reading them? From now on I might also send them this link: Joining Groups (from aj2008's Squid Etiquette Lens).

I'm such a ninny, and I hate telling people what to do, but if I didn't I would post my top five yucky lens pet peeves in my group guidelines. I can still remember what it was like when I was first figuring out what Squidoo was all about, and what it can do, so I try to be sympathetic when I view an awful lens. If I wasn't so nice, these Squid-Don'ts would send me running every time!

Mortira's Top Five Worst Lens Traits

5) No bio filled out, no 'Contact Me' enabled, no picture!
This is the sort of thing you should do as soon as you create your account! That's like showing up for work without your nametag and uniform.

4) No Guestbook module.
This is only forgiveable if the rest of the lens is really polished, and 'Contact Me' is enabled. Sometimes leaving out a guestbook makes a lens look more professional, but anonymity does not.

3) No original content.
If all of the written content is just copied from Wikipedia, I won't even bother reading it. I came to read a lens, not a wiki. If you're not passionate enough about something to write from the heart, then it's probably not something you should be writing about at all.

2) Poor writing.
I appreciate non-anglo writers who try - I don't even know two languages, so kudos for them! What I don't like is text with all caps, or no caps, or no punctuation, or all slang. We're talking about creating websites, not texting our friends!

1) No unique module titles.
This drives me totally bonkers. When I see a module called something like "Great Fishing Stuff on eBay" I actually twitch a little. The word "Stuff" doesn't belong in a heading unless it's part of a cliche. Such as"Does Obama have the Right Stuff?". When I read a lens, I don't want to feel like I just walked into a high pressure retail store, either.

Well! I feel better now. I'd rather point someone in the right direction than tell them that they suck. Sadly, some people don't even care if they're going in the right direction.